That's it. I'm renaming my 'inbox' to 'junkmail' and vice versa. Spam rules :

"...we just need to remember what the rules of life really are:
You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape.

If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40.
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape..."

Yesterday he spent 11 hours at work, straight up, no lunch break, no goof arounds, not even the imaginary cell phone calls that drag him out of the office every other hour or so. He went home, parked and stayed sitting in his car for an eternity, like 10 minutes, staring at infinity, nothing, pitch black. Pulled out, drove away, with abso-fucking-lutely no destination in mind. On yet another impulse he pulled over by Trader Joe's (the far away one, not the one around the corner) helped the asian old lady unload her cart of Charles Shaw merlots and chardonnays, smiled and walked in. Two hours, $79.53, numerous nutrition facts and two sample bites of caramelized onion on gorgonzola later he could qualify as UN's peace ambassador in Ecuador. Subtly smiling he drove back home, carried his brown bags all the way up to the third floor and opened the fridge, who was certainly excited to see him : it lit up.

He spent the next 3 hours munching on left overs, then downed a Coppola zinfandel and topped it off with some cheap syrah, making room for all the stuff he's almost sure he won't eat, but they make him smile in the morning when he peaks at their happy letters on their shiny labels while taking the milk carton off the bottom shelf.

Half drunk he vacuumed, washed some dishes, did the laundry, even took the trash out. Life, or something like it, is very simple to enjoy, as long as he's not sober.

Reading the previous post I checked out this link http://www.howtowinanexback.com/, and all of sudden I found myself shaking..
What if this book really works? What if one of my idiot Ex-es.. Especially that one who really bought into "let's just be friends," shit and still e-vites me to his stupid concerts,asks my friends to give me his regards.. and once in a while bumps into me asking about what I am doing for Friday night!!!
You know the same guy who while dating once I told him: " You know dude, I will end up with someone very intelligent, you know as intelligent as every men in my family. One thing is for sure I am not going to end up with you.." and he came to me three days later telling me :" Did You mean I am stupid?"
I mean what if he reads the book and it works?? What the hell am I suppose to do?
Call me crazy.. but then arent we all!!!!

P.S: These strategies can work, even if:

* Your mate claims he/she doesn't love you anymore.
* Your mate has found someone else.
* You have been unfaithful and lost your mate's trust.
* Your mate has filed for a divorce.

Ok so I'm officially offended. Down with Google, Hail to conservatism.

After all this time that I stayed a true and loyal fan, after all the good words I put in for them whenever someone bragged about their silly privacy rights, after I defended them for their stand in China, after I convinced my boss that Google earth is the future of mapping technologies, after I checked their stock everyday even when they missed the analyst expectations and took a plunge, after I installed their desktop 3 beta despite the criticism, after all these years, this is what their stupid, know-it-all, arrogant, rude and impolite Adsene (R)(TM) technology has put on top of my emails today - supposedly based on the content of my emails...



This is plain pathetic. I mean hey so my love life is messed up, who died and made Google the ultimate relationships counsellor to advise me so shamelessly?! What's next? Google telling me to stop living in denial and go back home and have a happy life?! Come on now...

Wholeheartedly.

My brother's thoughts

On His Ex: I hope she gains a lot of weight.. so nobody becomes interested in her and she takes me back only for me to dump her!!!

On His Player Buddy: Anytime we go out girls warm up to him and give him their numbers, I couldn't really figure out why? But then somebody said that apparently he is good looking, I didn't know girls are like guys they too go after the good looking ones..

On Women In Science and Engineering: It's just a shame, there is not enough woman in Engineering Schools.. we should create funds, give them quotas I donno do whatever is necessary to encourage girls become Engineers.. I am just desperate to meet some girls!!

On his best friend: That dude can pick up any chicks that he wants, but he has a stupid deepness to him, I dont even know why, that's why he is fucking selective with girls..

On Gay Rights: I need to have more lesbian friends, lets face it.. deep down I am a lesbian

On his roommate: His girlfriend is kinda fat, but then that's as good as it gets for a Jewish guy!!

On Blogging : So if I start a blog, do you think I get to meet hot chicks??

On Standards: Why should I have any standards for the type of girl I like? I mean I understand that for an Iranian guy I am not too hairy.. so you know I am not really picky if a girl has more hair than me..

On Fidelity: It's not like I cant but then I would never cheat on a girl...
Well, let's face it I have a tough time dating one girl, how the hell am I going to be able to get two of them at the same time??

On Marriage: Well I think I will eventually go down to Russia and marry a hot Russian P.H.D ...

Again on Gay Rights: I am sure if gay men concentrate enough on women, they will eventually find them attractive!!! I mean come on we are talking about women here, what's not to like about them?

On Family: If I had enough money, I would have bought myself a better family

On Priorities in life : Money over woman, all the time..

He's got two midterms and two papers due next week. He's got a dysfunctional study group and a neurotic boss who keeps reminding him that he's missed two deadlines and treats him like shit. He's got a messed up personal life, tax problems and his (il)legal status to sort out before end of next week. He's got a friend visiting him this weekend and two BoD meetings for the two alumni clubs he's active in this Sunday. He's all out of spicy pitted dried plums in his desk's drawer too.

He's never ever been so passionately hitting his ESC key like today, never harder, never stronger, never faster, never louder, never more desperate.

today i felt like punching the back of the SUV in front of me and break the glasses..
I am not PMSing.. I am going on a trip, I made some new friends today..
I have enough money in my bank account.. and yeah i looked up my IRA and apprantley stock market has been doing pretty good..
I got really good grades, despite not having enough time to study.. like 98 outta 100!!!
My sister sent me "Ricky gravis interviews Larry David," DVD today...
Which is hillarious..
Last night i didnt even fight with my brother over changing the channles from E! to ESPN.. I think i have grown up or something...
My significant other finally watched Annie Hall and liked it very much, and now he is into Woody Allen!!!!
Everything is extremely good in my life.. and i am not even waiting for something bad to happen and ruin it all.. because let's face it.. out of worse always comes out the best!! and plus wat doesnt kill me makes me stronger..
but still I have the urge to Punch that SUV for no good reason!!! and I feel kinda itchy...
Why nothing is wrong with me???

I've got lots of friends who are waiting for me to return their voice mails. I've got a good number of emails to reply to, both from friends and strangers. I keep telling myself I really don't have the time. I've also got tons of people expecting me to burn them a copy of that CD I promised when we were together that time. I mean come on, I really don't have time for such things.

I spend hours helping out random people I barely know, going way out of my way to do random favors for random strangers. I cold-email random authors of random articles I read online. I put extra copies of some of my CDs in the car, so if some stranger happened to like the music in my car I could just pop it out and hand it to him/her and enjoy the compliments on my generosity.

I'm sick, life is random, and commitments suck.

He was a very bad marketing executive. Colonel Cargill was so awful a marketing executive that his services were much sought after by firms eager to establish losses for tax purpose....
.... He was a self-made man who owed his lack of success to nobody....

Catch-22
Joseph Heller

I don't want to go back to her, I want to stay with her. But then she knows me much better, but then so what? Why didn't she come back to me before she came into my life? I think she's just threatened that I'm with her...

I think...no I don't think actually, I know it : I'm a moron.

So i received a rejection letter from one of the few Ca school that i applied to...
the reason no it wasn't low GPA or unfulfilled prerequisites... the reason: failing to send all the required document by the deadline...
When i left iran people kept telling my best friend how they were not surprised, it was obvious.. i just didn't fit there, it was like i was from a different planet..
two weeks ago everybody in my cousin's graduation, from the cousins who cant even pronounce my name to my uncle's gay brother in law who sees me every other year.. was telling me how they can see me living far away...
"You will be happier somewhere that is not California..."
or " Oh Portland, hmm.. that's so like you.."
All i could think of was how the hell a person Is able not to fit in California!!!
there is no mold to fit into... People conform to non-conforming...
But apparently i am still from another planet, i am the type who fails to send her documents in time to a CALIFORNIA schools with all the competition that there is to get in them...
And yeah, i have found a commune in the middle of nowhere in Portland.. and for 600$/month a furnished studio, utilities included, free laundry, optional community meals, and community Yoga by the beach, and another college degree.. yeah, i am ready to leave Ca and all the overachievers behind me..