We wanted to go for Tea and baklava to M's place after the lunch, but everybody else bailed out...
She offered me to go to her place for Tea anyways.They were good Baghlavas, fresh from L.A "G's" parent brought them over last week...
It was too hot for the tea but I had it anyways, and couldn't get my eyes off those Baghlavas..
and then there came that look on her face from the middle of nowhere...
" I am bored, tired, I donno there is something with me.." she exclaimed
" Maybe you are depressed, homesick, it's the exams,.." I still couldn't decide between the baghlavas.. which one I should pick ? they all looked good

And all of the sudden the explosion that I wasn't expecting came along...
He has called her the other day, after all these years, they were highschool sweethearts, he was her first love.. she had to leave, they lost contact..
but she never got over him..
it was a long story started from when she was 15 and was still going on...
I found her looking at me a bit offended, I was licking my fingers while she was telling me about their first date, and how it took 6 months for her to show interest in him or vice versa...
I waited for the tea to cool down...
She went on they wanted to reconnect, and they were going to pick a neutral country and meet up there for couple of weeks; somewhere that there is no one...
and then stopped...
now it was my turn to give advice...
All that I could say was :" I wish we had real brewed tea, not this Lipton piece of shit..."
But she wasn't giving up...
I told her it's great, I am happy for her.. she should give it a shot, just to laugh at herself when she is 50...
I told her to go...
I also wanted to tell her, all I wanted was a baklava and some half assed tea...
I wasn't supposed to pay for it,since the Baghlava's was "G's" to begin with...
but she wouldnt let go...
I had to know about his family, and how her family loved him...
The baklava that I picked tasted like shit.. but I had to finish it anyways..
the second one tasted much better, but by the time I got to it I was almost full...
I told her, relationships are like picking Baghlavas.. there is a 50% chance that they are what you want, and some more things...
Some times people tell you things without any reason, because they just want to talk.. to get it out ( Well it's more relevenat amongst us Girls)
most of the times I am the person they confide in... Maybe because I am too damn "Shekamoo..." just cant say no to anything with sugar in it...
They all know it,and use it to trap me...
by inviting me over for an afternoon tea ....
Once I even had to interlock pinkies with a friend in a sturbucks, while eating a rice crispy bar, and listening to the reasons she was taking prozac. I promised never to retell her story, honestly she didnt have to buy me a cookie. I would've forgetten it anyways..

Most people take pride in being others confidants, for me it's just about Baghlavas!!!

brace yourselves : i'm moving to shanghai in one year and a half. hope it's not too late.

In the honor of block exams, we went to "Office Max," after eating in Olive garden and almost getting in fight with waitress
G bought a notebook, a 5 subject one for almost 5$, he has decided to change his studying habits as of next block..
He also bought a pencil and eraser, cause in the middle of exams he has suddenly found out that he only has pens...
five of us were confused between Mechanical pencils, which one equals to a No.2 pencil??
Me and M voted in favor of 0.5
L, yeah there exists another L who is even louder and more embarrassing than me, screamed in the favor of 0.7
we eventually looked at the back of the packages
0.7 won...

I bought a set of highlighters and a set of gel pens, different colors of course...
I came back home, opened the packages...it felt so good, just like a little school girl, oh yeah and for all the perverts out there I used to be "A catholic School girl," whatever that is supposed to mean.. Because these days it's Orthodox Jewish Anti-gay school girl....

I spread the highliters and pens on my desk and stared at them...
then I found a container and put them all away...
I don't know why I bought them, all my lectures and notes are in my laptop...
it has been years since i have written anything by hand...
I guess once in a while you have to spend 20$ just to make yourself feel good for 5 minutes...

The block Exams will start at 9/11 i know September 11th...
everybody is worried and is studying his/her ass off
the crazy girl who sits next to me has lost ten pounds and i guess half of her dignity, in our eyes of course, by going to and crying for every pervert professor who may give her a point or two for a hug .....

Me, M and G lie down under the trees on the benches making fun of his Asian Fever, lack of interest in cheese,salad,sun and failed attempts at pimping me to a black pimp...

We watch the rest of the class, 81 one of them to be exact, running in and out of the library and professor's offices..
All of them have given in, even C the self proclaimed underachiever...

The only thing that worries us is the fact that we are not worried about the exams or anything in general...
But then we forget and try to decide and choose between a wineray and a brewery to go to...
Good grades are for the Achievers...
the rest of the world belongs to us..

of all the places, it had to hit me on the bowl, thee bathroom bowl.

man waking up. morning person singing in the morning. man naked. man shaving. man squeezing paste on the brush. man walking into the bathroom. man sitting on the bowl. man still singing random tunes. man suddenly singing an old one from very old times. man mother. man mother singing in the kitchen, in distance. man body shaking. man voice trembling. man trying desperately to keep singing. man tears, lots. man confused. man gasping. man sobbing hard, throbbing in pain. man confused. man can't stop. man what the hell. man keep mumbling the old song.

man weeping. man singing. man shouting under the shower. man laughing hard. man throbbing now in laughter. man sobbing. man elated. man chuckling.

man staring at the mirror. man buttoning his cuffs. man calm. man peace. man breaking through to the other side. man so full of it, so full of himself.

i left for work, for one last time; well, not the last time, i am coming back, right?