My overachiever Uncle once asked my Grandma to pray for him...
She told him being an overachiever she knew that he will get what he wants ,so she will ask god not to give him the things that he works extremely hard for but will not make him happy in life...
The biggest problem of Overachievers in the world is that most of them dont have smart Mothers...

photography is a sick hobby. it's the manifest of one's obsession with whatever is past, a weakest attempt at preserving the moment, a pathetic protest against time. we need anticameras. we need an optometric and psychpedic device with which you could shoot the moments and they go pitchblack and diffuse off the memories of every single person involved in them, including and specifically the sick anticameraman himself.

I am sitting in my room on my bed finally in my own apartment blogging and feeling really happy and content, knowing that this feeling will last...
How do I know this? how do I know that the other shoe wont drop?
For one thing I have a twin bed; Owning of which has single handedly caused a commotion amongst my loved ones. My friends keep asking me if I am sure, my roommate is showing me her queen bed and telling me it's more appropriate for our age.. even my father has called me and told me I should've taken my full bed, and believe it or not my brother who takes pride in not helping people in need has offered to bring me the full bed.. Everybody is scared, twin bed to them means that I am refusing to grow up and move on with my life.. they are afraid that I end up an old maid minus a cat..
And the other reason that I know my happiness will last is that there are two registered sex offenders who live in our Apartment complex, and apparently one of them harassed two girls in the laundry room and my place is across the laundry room...
Yet I feel good and I am pretty happy...
Things cant go wrong, because they are already very wrong!!!
Shoes just cant drop on ME!!!

relationships are like card houses. you spend months and years building one up, then you take this one card out, intentionally or accidentally, and the whole thing falls apart in a blink of an eye.

you drool on it for a while, milking as much drama as you could out of the whole thing, then when it dries out you build another card house, thinking this one won't fall apart as easily. maybe you won't use that one card, because obviously if it weren't for that one card it wouldn't have crashed, or you'll build a wider bottom row, or you won't make it as tall...

or maybe you won't build another one. you pick up the whole deck and play solitaire, or whatever other game you could play by yourself, something in which nothing crashes, nothing falls apart, no matter how many cards you move.

love life is fucked up, period. maybe i'll develop love 2.0 one day, as soon as i'm done debugging. i got the idea watching seinfeld a long time ago, the muffins episode. love 2.0 will only have beginnings and no endings. you'll keep starting relationships, and the whole thing is over after the beginning period.

or maybe it's like a cucumber, never bite the end, just throw it away.

i'm so full of it.

Whenever I take Anti-Histamine before I go to bed at night, I wake up the next day a different person...
Sedated, indifferent,and calm...
I don't really pay attention to the people and things around me...
I just sit down and listen to the lecture.. and I really get it...
People pass me by and I barely smile...
The girl next to me talks and I just nod...
Even my brain shuts down and I stop daydreaming....
I barely remember the things in the past...
Whenever I take Anti-histamine I become a very very normal and happy person..
If Only I could take one with the half life of like 40 years!!! I would've become the most content person in the world..

I like to judge people.. what's wrong with that? People judge me too..,
most of the times i am wrong, and people turn up to be better than I thought they are..
But then I always stick to my first impression..
i usually hate people..
Let me rephrase it, I usually dont care much about people.. even if they are worth it!!!

raining. the guy in the mirror got terribly upset when he couldn't find his deodorant this morning. he then unwrapped his towel and buried himself back underneath the sheets. considered calling in sick, decided not to. this french song was in the air, the frightened guy on the speakers' box on the top shelf staring at him, as usual. it's not sadness, it's not pain, it's not misery, not even tired anymore. not depressed, not bored, not caged. it's kinda blue, kinda light greenish. it's definitely not emptiness. it tastes like aluminum, kinda metallic. he's been around, he's seen this and that, here and there, but he's never experienced this. he thought about the things he hasn't seen, and he thought about death.

the dead guy picked up the deodorant from beneath the pile of tshirts, put on an orange shirt and went to work. he did use a bit too much coconut body butter (because they discontinued sesame) and the door knob slipped in his right hand the first time, but he managed to exit, glide down the stairs and even feel the drizzle on his forehead. it's a rainy day, dead man smiling.

there was this scene in this movie i watched a while back, i think the name was code 46 or something, tim robbins was sitting acroos the table from this chick i don't recall, and she asks him if his kid is special to which he replies of course he is, and she says something like everyone's kids are so special it makes you wonder where all these ordinary grown ups come from...

so what happens to us? where is it that one loses that 'special' thing? then of course the same phenomenon applies to so many things : isn't every relationship just the perfect one when it starts? well maybe not everyone, i sure have started a couple doomed from the first minute, but what about the rest? when is it that the perfection fades out, where does the excitement go? do people change so radically? do emotions go stale? or is it maybe the priorities rearranging themselves? is it the curiosity factor? where are all the scientists on this? what has technology done to preserve the enthusiasm, the passion, the butterflies? is there a diet for couples to remain emotionally stimulated? why am i asking all this crap before i'm even fully awake on a sunday morning? i mean heck i should just suck it up and live it. where did my newly collected wisdom go? didn't i decide one should never ask why anything is the way it is about life? am i feeling insecure? am i fucked up and i'm just seeking something to blame? very likely.

zip.

so i can't get my sde script to work. some totally-irrelevant-extremely-annoying invalid database name error has been popping up since monday when i ran it first, and i just can't figure out what the hell is wrong with it. i read some 100 threads on esri's support forums and no luck. the little voices in me advised being proactive, urged me to create an account and post my own message, make progress.

so i hit the red button, and heck what do i know, i already have an account there. all i have to do is enter my email and have my password reset and sent to me instantly. all the information matches, so i get to this one last confirmation page with my customized verification question, which of course i myself have picked whenever i had created this account.

my secret question : what is your dream job?! now that's one hell of a secret question; it's so secret i don't know it myself. this must have been a monday morning when i was still under strong influence of the substances consumed during the weekend. dream job?!! i tried about a 100 guesses, not because i needed the password that badly, sheer curiosity, some insight into my own past maybe. journalist, photographer, stripper, gigolo, ceo, writer, pilot, manager, waiter, barista, walmart greeter, bouncer, janitor, cellist, rockstar, presidency, clown... none worked. double you-tee-ef. there has been a time when i knew what my dream job was, so what the fuck was it?! damn it.

We sat down for hours and tried hard to gossip about other people... but somehow all the conversations drifted back to "Ourselves.."
We found out that Honestly we don't care about the people that we knew enough to learn the name of half of them, let alone talk behind their backs..
Even hating someone consumes emotions.. we just are not those type of people...
Our lack of care for others have become our Virtue...

life is walking in downtown vancouver on a cloudy afternoon, meeting new and old faces for all you can eat sushi. life is observing the faces around the table, trying to figure out what they're thinking about, their ex-significant-others, their significant-other-to-be's, their apartments, their credit cards, their graduate degrees, their accents when pronouncing names of maki rolls, their hair styles, their shoes, the secret decisions they made just right then...

life's not boring when you're traveling. i think miseries can't fly, so you can get away from them if your jet flies far enough. or maybe they're just cheap, so they take the bus, and they'll never get anywhere in less than a few days. one should keep running, just like forrest did to find his forester, or even better : fly; maybe that's why every kid dreams of becoming a pilot instinctively, so that they could always fly away and leave it all behind.

"chewing on chicken curry chimichanga"

just thought i'd share that even though what i had was just a simple chicken curry wrap

Every morning I make " Chai," but then it's so hot I cant drink it for at least half an hour...I still cant bring myself not to boil the hell outta water

The only reason that I eat salad is because of my favorite dressing, it tastes so good Just like " Ghareghooroot."

The only reason that I study Dr.D's lecture more than everybody else, is not that I think it will be important in the future, it's just that he is so damn cute!!!

The only reason that I am going to the Engagement party that MJ is throwing for S&J on Sunday is that fact that MJ keeps reminding me that I didn't go to her party last time, but she drove an hour to attend my B.Day Party!!! Other than Me and S ( the bride to be)absolutely hate each other ...

The only reason that I invited "L," to stay over at our place during holidays, because she didnt go back home and was alone, is not the fact that we are friends. We are not, I dont even like her.
I invited her over because she told me how she wished her parents could go back to Iran just like my parents, but they cant because they are Jewish and their name is on some sort of black list back in Iran... Honestly it was just my guilt

And the only reason that I registerd to vote was that my mom did it for me.. she is the one concerned about Environment, social justice and stuff... I personally prefer Chaos to Democracy...

Talk about Much ado about nothing