i arrived at 11:30pm and entered while he was shaking a cosmo for this other girl in the corner. he topped off her glass and i got the rest of it. i talked to a number of people, mostly girls, just chit chat, then we all went upstairs to puff the magic dragon on the roof. uptown tehran is kinda chilly around midnight in late september. i offered my jacket to n. and my ego gained a size or two, plus i was kinda buzzed so i didn't care. for the same reason i did talk aloud a lot, my regular spiel, level two : lame jokes and ultra-cheesy smartass comments.

it was past 2am and most of the people had left. six of us were sipping and munching on the leftovers around the table, listening to some 80s tunes, maybe some cure, some dylan, some 70s too. that's when we first talked. he said a. should go back, and he said i should stay there. he said i'm probably a sucker for the 80s, and that i'd fit there since i'm a tramp like any other one. so there, it took a total stranger two hours and a half to get to know me inside out, and we didn't even need to talk.

today i picked up a cd at starbucks, only because it says circa 80 on the cover. it's ok to like eighties. it's ok to be cheesy. it's ok to pretend you're not. it's ok to be a tramp there, it's ok to be a tramp here. it's ok to be transparent. it's all ok. today is not a great day, but it's ok. anything is ok, even nothing. it's also particularly ok if i die today, or any other day for that matter. it's really ok.