i would want to say it's the overcast, i'd want to say it's the wine, i even considered her being busy and not showing up, but that's not it. the balcony in front of me is a mesmeriazing mix of gray shades. the radiohead covers are hardly as good as the originals, but they do. a window on the building across from me lights up, so unthoughtful, so incosiderate, how dare they disturb the slumber of my dim view...

it's two thousand sixteen and i'm late for work. she's on her way to drop gina at school. i reach for my breifcase and i knock my coffee over the counter. i drop the paper towels on the mess and leave it to the maid, she's used to cleaning up my shit. keys in my hand, i triple check my cell and my wallet, and i head for the door. i turn around and reach for my lunch, i lock the door, unlock it, take my tennis hag, slam the door shut, lock it again and run for the closing elevator door. I halt the door with my foot and squeeze in, i see your shoes, raise my head, and sigh to find out it's not you. i press play on my cell, and paranoid android takes over, and over, and over...

it's two weeks ago and i'm looking at her across the table. i can't stop visualizing her in ten years. i can't stop thinking about our lives together, is there one? i'm pathetic, i'm not present, she feels it, i kiss her lips and her hands take over, and over, and over...

in a few minutes i'll know if it's over. a few minutes ago i felt something, then the world stopped revolving around me, temporarily. staring at the pitch black scenery in my sight, i let the wine take over, and over, and over...

and it all keeps repeating itself, over, and over, and over again.