I have often noticed that my facial hair does not grow with an even pace. Some mornings there's hardly anything to shave, some mornings the braun ritual takes longer than my shower. While much has been said and written on 'when' and 'what' to shave, not many significant sceintific documents have touched on the sensitive subject of 'why' facial hair grows in the first place, and as d. adams has clearly stated in his ultimate guide for life, universe and everything else the latter is of crucial importance in understanding any complex phenomenon such as where and what to eat for lunch.

Although aging and natural metabolism offer credible explanations for beard growth, neither elaborates on its pace. The following is a conclusion based on recent experiments conducted by myself :

A few nights ago I took two shots of chilled skyy with an ex, kissed her goodbye and went out to a party with a few people. I engaged myself in a most intriguing three-hour conversation on how to market farsi word magnets as a result of which I scheduled a breakfast date with the creator for next week, then I held a relationship consulting session for the driver during the one-hour ride on the way back while everyone else passed out on the back seat, finalizing it by asking the driver out for dinner on thursday night. The next morning, there was hardly any hair on my face to shave.

Last night I read two case studies on impacts of globalization on chinese and indian economies, cancelled my date for thursday night, scheduled a group meeting instead, watched ice age with my ex and her son, rejected her invitation for a coffee afterwards, went through my accouting problem set, then finally did some actual market research for language magnets, threw some numbers into an excel sheet and sent them to my breakfast date, asking her if she'd still need to meet since I might have not much to add. This morning sure enough I spent two four-minute poe tracks shaving.

The "morality law of facial hair growth rate" hereby states that facial hair grows faster when the soul is content and bodily desires are suppressed; alternatively it stops growing when lust takes over both in terms of a physical desire for flesh and a mental urge to seduce through an orgy of expensive booze and cheap philosophy.